We are the droplets that create the ripples.
The ripples of women.
The waves of herstory.
That make the rivers of empowerment.
Your controversial story of how you said no.
Your words of “I want this my way.”
I will be the queen of how this goes.
I am healthy.
I am safe.
And so is my babe.
I will do all I can, to keep it this way.
You are the droplets that create the ripples.
When she hears your story, even just a trickle.
It helps her say no.
So that she can say, I’m having this baby
I am healthy.
I am safe.
And so is my babe.
I will do all I can to keep it this way.
You didn’t know she was listening.
You didn’t know she heard.
But when she was ready,
The water from your story still flowing
It gave her the confidence, intuition and knowing.
We are droplets in the rivers that sway.
So keep telling your story, in your own way.
Our ripples can turn in to oceans
When they join together.
Your story, and herstory can change birth forever.
Mollie Donnelly.
Birth worker. Inspired to write this because today over a coffee I had a discussion with a lady about birth and consent. We learned from each others birth stories. Listening to certain things we declined because of our informed choices. And I took courage in hers, and I admired her strength in her birth. But what stood out to me the most was her words. Her powerful no, when the consultant assisting her birth had said “don’t be a hero, take the epidural”.
The lady had stated she knew the side effects and her personal decision was that she did not want it.
In that environment it can be so hard to stick to you what you want. We also spoke a lot more about other women’s birth experiences. And it reminded me, although I have educated myself so much on all things birth, ultimately it’s women’s stories that contribute to ourself confidence.
If she can do it so can I. Though Dr Rachel Reed has coined the term, “herstory”. To me its important I used it in this poem. And a Rachel reminded me, (most) of the birth 'history', findings, texts books and praise goes to the men who have written them. It’s these REAL stories of women that are hugely important.
So if you feel like the controversial friend who had a homebirth, or the one who declined pain relief, or the one who said no to VE’s, vitamin K, ( the list goes on… and on.)
Remember WE are the droplets of confidence. Only a mother can make the right decision for her and her baby.
And to add Informed decision making for pregnancy and birth, is asking questions, finding out the pro’s and the con’s, Is this an emergency? What are my alternatives? Do the benefits truly outweigh the risk? Saying yes when you do not know your full options is not giving informed consent.
Nonetheless, your conversations around the coffee table where other women hear how you took the power back in your birth are invaluable. Because it’s not really how the birth went, it’s how it ,makes us feel. It’s time for women to take back our power and be a part of the change.
Birth can and is for many women truly empowering. My hopes and wishes is that more and more women become armed with knowledge and confidence to make personalised informed decisions to be the birth Goddesses they deserve to be.
Here are some links and resources I found helpful reading when I were pregnant and still refer to now.
Dr Rachel Reed - reclaiming childbirth as a rite of passage.
Marie Mongan HypnoBirthing
Why induction matters - Dr Rachel Reed.
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